Friday, 19 April 2024

The Pulmis Alphabet (new vowels)

Fifteen years after inventing it, I here present the latest version of Pulmis, with new vowels. It is designed to follow Received Pronunciation, rather than just my own dialect (of the East Midlands and Northwest England).


Pulmis is a simple alphabet (hence the name, essentially a rearrangement of the word simple) and it is also supposed to be quasi-phonetic in the shape of the letters. The following image illustrates this featural character, as well as displaying the lowercase letters.

 



Here are two pairs of sample texts, capital letters only as well as lowercase inclusive. For those who don't recognise them, they are the (contemporary) Lord's Prayer and Article One of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

 







One thing I haven't properly got to grips with yet is support for rhoticism. (The solution will probably just be the insertion of R's like in standard English.)

Click here to see the old version(s)


Tuesday, 26 October 2021

No Free Will in Court (micro fiction)

“Do you have anything to say before I pass judgement?” asked the judge.

“Yes, your honour,” said the defendant. “I repeat what I’ve maintained throughout this trial and which I’ve proved scientifically and philosophically. I have no free will, so it would be morally wrong to send me to prison for stealing that jewel. The theft was configured to happen before I was even born, and when the time came, I could only watch helplessly as my body went through the motions of carrying it out. I – and by I, I refer to my subjective transcendent self – am blameless, and so should not be punished by being sent, together with my physical body, to prison.”

“You’ve made your argument well,” said the judge, “and I daresay that everyone in the chamber is now sold on the idea that free will is an illusion.”

The defendant, the jewel thief, smirked.

“However,” said the judge, leaning forward, “you are not unique, for everyone else in the world – including myself – is also bereft of free will. Hence, this trial was configured to happen before you or I were born, and now that the time has come, I can only watch helplessly as my body goes through the motions of sending you to prison for five years.”

Despair spread over the defendant’s face, as the judge, with a smirk of his own, banged the gavel and passed sentence.

Sunday, 20 December 2020

My Novels

Behold the novels that I published between 2012 and 2014. The links go to the Kindle store of the UK Amazon, but the books exist on every Amazon, and also as paperbacks. The first two are the best two.

Ned Ludd: He-Goose from Hell

White-Hot Gruel (new cover and better blurb desired)

Zeno's Chimney (not thrilling?)

Escape from Ghey Heights (major redraft needed...)

I didn't "make it" as a creative writer, but I have at least produced a legacy that I'm proud of.

Folksprak

Behold the latest version of my Folksprak proposal.

Folksprak, quick grammar and ongoing dictionary

Sunday, 30 August 2015

BobSpell: English spelling reform proposal

This is a summary of how I would reform English spelling, were I commissioned to do so. In a nutshell, it is a continuation of SoundSpel which sees the introduction of several obvious rules, such that only the most misleading words are re-spelt.

Here are some rules, further to those of SoundSpel (using SAMPA notation):

When a vowel is followed by a single consonant (including <r>) and then another vowel, the first vowel is usually long.

The suite of vowels is extended thus: <aer> = <air>, <ai,ay> = <ae>, <aw> = <au>, <ea> and <ear> = <ee> and <eer> respectively, <ei,ey> and <eir> = "wildcards" <ae,ee,ie> and <air,eer,ier> resp, <eu,ew> and <eur> = <ue> or <oo> and <uer> or <oor> resp, <ir,ur> = <er>, <oa> and <oar> = <oe> and <or> resp, <oy> = <oi>, <ow> = <ou>.

<c> and <g> soften to /s/ and /dZ/ respectively before <i,e,y>, but the <g>s in the digraphs <gg,ng> never soften, and <gu> when followed by a (different) vowel is equivalent to /g/.

<ph> as /f/.

<s> sometimes represents /z/, whereas <ss> is always /s/.

The letters <t,c,ss,s>, <z,s>, and <g>, when followed by <i> then another vowel, commonly mutate into /S/, /Z/, and /dZ/ respectively - unless they're at the start of the word. The popular ending "-tion" is a good example of this, being pronounced /S@n/. In the combination <st>, however, the mutation is to /stS/ or /StS/, like in the word "question".

Similarly, pre-vowel /sj/, /zj/, /tj/, and /dj/ commonly mutate into /S/, /Z/, /tS/, and /dZ/ respectively, like in the words "assume" and "duty". Also, an unstressed vowel that ought to be /ju:/ or /jU@/ can reduce to /j@/, as in the word "united". This reduction can also apply in cases of the above mutation, as in the word "pressure".

<y> is sometimes vocalic, as in the word "synergy".

An unstressed <i> or <y> that ought to be /aI/ can reduce to /i:/, as exemplified by the word "iodine".

The trigraph <igh> equals <ie>.

The endings <le> and <re>, after a consonant, are pronounced as though they were <el> and <er>. And if they are preceded by <c,g>, the latter does not soften, as in the word "bugle".

The SoundSpel <all> /O:l/ rule is limited to monosyllabic roots and their derivatives. This removes the need to re-spell polysyllabic roots like "dally" (which would otherwise have to be "daly").

The suffix <age> equals <ij,idge>.

Final <e>s are generally silent.

In the fundamental endings <es> and <ed>, and also the superlative ending <est>, the vowel is /I/ or /@/, i.e. it's like the unstressed half <ee>, except never /i:/. The same applies to polysyllabic roots that end in <et>, such as "bucket".

The combination <old> is pronounced /@Uld/, as in the words "cold" and "golden".

[Idea: an A-O-U shift after /w/, at least with long R vowels, enabling for example the spellings "war" and "world", rather than the current forms "woar" and "wurld".]

As with SoundSpel, several irregular words are retained. Here is a list of them:

of
to,do,two
you,your
what,want,was
get,give,begin
one
some,come
who(m),whose
said
there,where
country
schedule

And here is a sample BobSpell text:

It was on the first day of the New Year that the announcement was made, aulmoest simultaneosly from three observatorys, that the motion of the planet Neptune, the outermoest of all the planets that wheel about the sun, had become verry erratic. Ogilvy had aulreddy calld attention to a suspected retardation in its velocity in December. Such a peece of news was scaercely calculated to interest a wurld the graeter portion of whose inhabitants were unuware of the existence of the planet Neptune, nor outside the astronomical profession did the subsequent discuvery of a faint remote speck of light in the region of the perturbd planet cause enny verry graet excitement. Scyentific peeple, however, found the intelligence remarkable enuff, even before it became noen that the new body was rapidly groeing larger and brighter, that its motion was quite different from the orderly proegress of the planets, and that the deflection of Neptune and its satellite was becoming now of an unprecedented kiend.

Sunday, 26 October 2014

My greatest games

This was a tricky list to compile. The top half contains the true greats, and the bottom half is the runners up. I'm mindful of the fact that several games that I haven't played could well merit inclusion (e.g. System Shock Remake, Majora's Mask, Metal Gear Solid, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.) but I'm restricting myself to games that I have played.

Two things ought to be mentioned regarding The Lost Vikings: firstly, that the Mega Drive/Genesis version contains five more levels than all the other ports, and secondly, that several good tribute games have been created, e.g. The Lost Kids, The Lost Snowmen, and The Lost Robos. And I'd like to add that No One Lives Forever (1) has the funniest dialogue I've ever heard in a game.

SNES
Donkey Kong Country series
The Lost Vikings 1 & 2
Super Mario World

N64
F-Zero X
GoldenEye 007
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

PC
Beyond Good and Evil
BioShock series
Deus Ex & Human Revolution
Half Life & Opposing Force & Blue Shift
Half Life 2 & Episodes
Halo: Combat Evolved & Reach
No One Lives Forever 1 & 2
Project IGI & Covert Strike
Red Faction
System Shock 2

Online/indie
Billiard Blitz Snooker Skool & Star
The Codex of Alchemical Engineering & Opuses
Into the Breach
Sokoban

And here's the second lot:

Non-PC
Chuckie Egg (BBC Micro)
Snapper/Pac-Man (BBC Micro)
Tetris (NES)
Super Mario Bros 2 (NES)
Micro Machines 1 & 2 & 96 & Military (Mega Drive)
Streets of Rage (Mega Drive)
Aladdin (SNES & Mega Drive)
Super Mario Kart (SNES)
WCW/nWo Revenge & WWF No Mercy (N64)

PC
Anachronox
Atlantis: The Lost Tales
Medal of Honor: Allied Assault
Midtown Madness series
Painkiller & Battle out of Hell
Serious Sam series
Worms Armageddon & World Party

Online/indie
Agar.io
Alien Growth
Electric Box 1 & 2
Illusion Trails Eternal
LaserTank
Light-Bot 1 & 2
Magic Pen 1 & 2
Quadrax series
Scribble
Sugar, Sugar series
Trilby: The Art of Theft
TRrBL & Swapblocks

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Potential new features for Creeping Angels

Here's a prioritised list of new features that could be added to Creeping Angels, none of which are necessary in my opinion. If you can think of anything else that's worth including here, feel free to share it via a comment.

1. Smoke. Whereas holey walls can be seen through but not passed through, smoky tiles can be passed through but not seen through.

2. Holes/trapdoors. Any sprite can fall down a hole, from which they cannot escape. Holes could be bottomless, or of finite depth, where in the latter case, once they're full, they become functionally equivalent to floor tiles.

3. Transportation. The player can teleport to a (safe?) random tile, or from one teleporting tile to another. Or more complicatedly, there could be tracks along which the player rides in a cart, or iced tiles along which the player would slide.

4. Doors/gates. Self-explanatory, with options such as remote opening-levers, keys, and whether they can be left open/closed.

5. One-way mirrors. Orthogonal mirrors that from one side are reflective but from the other side are transparent.

6. An observer. This would be placed on a tile, where it just looks ahead, locking any angels in its path. Could be a bird in a cage. Can the angels destroy it?

7. A decoy. Once released, the angels would be attracted to this instead of the player, and it can't lock them (i.e. it's blind). Would it be autonomous or controlled, and how long would it be active for?

8. Alternative angel movement algorithm(s). Many possibilities here, such as copying Mummy Maze, or allowing the angels to move three times per turn.

9. Player invisibility/cloaking. This would effectively induce the angels to skip their turns.

10. Exclusive tiles. A type of tile that only the player can go on, and a type that only the angels can go on.

11. Slow-down tiles. Tiles on which angels can only move once per turn.

12. Movable objects. Could make anything movable in principle, cf Sokoban.

13. Creatable and destructible objects. Self-explanatory.

14. Time limit. The player must reach an escape tile within a specified number of turns or within a specified amount of time.

15. New enemies. Cf the scorpions in Mummy Maze, which can move once per turn.

16. Blue-red flip. A mechanism by which blue angels become red ones, and vice versa.

17. Weapon(s). A ray gun, a pistol, or a rocket launcher, which temporarily or permanently disables its victims.

18. Turrets. Functionally the same as the above. Can they be interacted with?

19. Bombs/mines. Time-bombs and/or proximity mines, these could potentially kill sprites, demolish walls, and make holes in the floor.

20. Different heights of tiles. These would be connected by ramps/stairs, with the player able to drop down from high to low. Possibility of fall damage?

21. Multiplayer mode. Self-explanatory.